Dealing with Negativity Effectively
Setbacks, disappointments, cancellations, delays, frustrations, fights, judgement, rejections, fear, discouragement, anger, sadness, depression and the list goes on. So many negative things are happening to so many people right now that are overwhelming us with negative emotions. The feelings of sadness and hopelessness for some people can be so strong that they self-medicate, become destructive or lash out at others or even consider suicide. So many people are worried about their jobs and providing for their families right now and the stress is significant.
So what are we to do to stop the downward pull of emotions?
Emotions remind me of the sea. When I look at the waves ever moving, ever nearing the shore only to return out to the sea again and dissolving into the vastness of the ocean it reminds me of the flow of our emotions each day. We all have deep emotions that guide us and send us messages. Emotions surface and are trying to tell us something whether about our past or present situation that will help you move through the situation. But when we remain in negative emotional states for too long or we become fixated on a negative situation, it becomes hard to function well in the present and so we need to learn how to acknowledge our negative emotions and then release them back into our own emotional oceans so we can clear space for new beginnings and more joy.
Too much negativity can mean disaster for our work and businesses. When we lose hope, we can stop working productively, become inflexible, stop believing our work is meaningful and deserves to be valued and stop valuing ourselves and our clients. Negativity might be giving up, becoming easily upset with clients or co-workers or cutting corners to try to get a deal if we are financially stressed. When our clients or co-workers are negative, it adds more stress and conflict which can be financially and emotionally draining. Too much negativity can impact our work and relationships so here are some practical tips that can help you get out of a negative cycle so you can focus on preparing for better days ahead and a stronger and more successful future.
Tips for dealing with Negativity:
Acknowledge your feelings- So many times, we prefer to push negative emotions away or avoid them but the expression “what you resist, persists” is true. Start by being more aware of your emotions as messengers and avoid labeling them good or bad. When you become aware of a negative emotion either because of a negative encounter with someone or your own worries, start by giving it a label. You can say to yourself “I am noticing feelings or sadness and anger right now”. Good start. Once you accept each emotion, you can work through them more successfully.
Keep Going-Once you acknowledge your emotions, don’t let them overtake you. Plan positive action steps each day for your health, your work and your relationships. For example, if business is slow, touch base with clients or candidates to give them free resources to help them cope, work on updating your candidate database or client contact information, write articles, research new growing fields, learn a new skill that will help with your work, incorporate healthy habits into your day to physically release stress and promote positive emotions, avoid sugar that will cause the sugar blues and get outside and get at least 20 minutes of sunshine each day.
Practice Self-Control-When emotions get strong and negative, it is hard to hold them inside. The temptation to “dump” on someone or vent frustration on social media is huge. On the flip side, some people start to feel so sorry for themselves when they are overwhelmed by negativity that they withdrawal from the world into a depression. Neither is going to help but by practicing self-control and self-acceptance you will get through the negative faster and get back to positive emotions. Controlling our emotions is different than repressing them. When we control our difficult emotions, we acknowledge and accept them but do not let them control our actions or lives. We keep going in a positive direction and this will help us work through difficult patches more quickly.
Visualize Positive Results-For over a decade, I have actively practiced visualization as a part of my our self-care having had to deal with a number of traumatic events and set-backs. I have also used it with my coaching clients and found it to be extremely helpful in moving out of negative emotional states. Take only 15-20 each day to do this simple exercise. You start by relaxing your whole body either with muscle clenching, soothing music, a meditation app (I use one for this exercise and there are many free ones out there), yoga, a sauna/hot tub/pool or being outside or any way to get into a more relaxed state that works for you. I sometimes find a glass of wine is also helpful….:). Next close your eyes and really concentrate your mind. Don’t let your thoughts wander and if they do, gently bring them back to the present. Focus on a goal you want to achieve. First imagine a happy place like a cottage, a beach or anywhere you have found relaxed peace and joy in the past. Really tap into all your senses when you think of this place to really “feel” the positive emotions you want to generate. Once you are accessed the positive emotions, move to thinking about a goal you wan to achieve in the future. Imagine succeeding and how you will feel when you achieve it. Again, tap into all your senses. Doing this exercise 15-20 minutes a day will help to clear out the negative emotions and bring more hope and peace so you can achieve your future goals.
Never give up-We all have periods of negativity either due to circumstances or self-imposed because of becoming fixated with the negative. It is worth important to believe that better times are ahead and focus on being grateful for any part of our current circumstances that is teaching us a lesson or providing comfort and joy. What we fixate on becomes our reality so work to fixate on positive parts of your life in order to become happier and move out of the negative. Some days might not go so well and we can release those days and start again each morning with a plan to stay focused and disciplined in our meaning work, life and relationships. When you feel like giving up, read inspirational stories from people you admire who have overcome adversity or repeat mantras to encourage yourself. Whatever work to keep you going!
Do things differently-Sometimes we get into ruts when we keep doing things the same way. When we get stuck in negativity, it is important to tap into our creative mind to learn how to approach problems in different ways for better solutions. Einstein said “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result”. If you are feeling negative, take a break and do something creative, fun. Some suggestions include going outside, playing a game with your kids, visiting a friend or family member outside (socially distant), baking, woodworking, golfing, swimming, going to a cottage etc.
I truly believe that we can all become stronger, wiser and more successful when we get through this difficult time so focus on improving each day and take time to feel grateful for each good thing in your life.
Patricia (Tish) Conlin is a Talent Solutions firm owner (20+ years building success as President of Global Consulting Group Inc. www.globalconsultinggroup.ca), Speaker, and Coach. A passion for health and leadership development led her into international public speaking and coaching. Conlin is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Trainer, Registered Holistic Nutritionist and Black Belt Martial Artist. She is the author of ABCs of Food: Boost Your Energy, Confidence, and Success with the Power of Nutrition. She is currently working on her second book and on-line course about leadership and resilience. Visit Conlin’s Coaching website to energize your performance and life with our on-line training programs and courses at TishConlin.com